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More Effective Jewish Parenting By Miriam Levi   List Price: $18.99 Online Discount: 20% You Pay Only: $15.19 Catalog #: EJPP ISBN-10: 1578191904 ISBN-13: 9781578191901 Binding: Paperback / Pages: 331 Dimensions: 6" x 9" / Weight: 1.12 LBS Published: by ArtScroll / Mesorah In Stock?: NO Quantity:  1234567891011121314151617181920212223242526272829303132333435363738394041424344454647484950 Other Editions List Price   Online   Price   In Stock? Hardcover    $22.99    $18.39   NO

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Chapter 12

Description:

“I love them so much. How can they get me so angry?”

In this long-awaited revised and expanded edition of her very popular Effective Jewish Parenting, Miriam Levi provides conscientious Jewish parents everywhere with the tools that can make their job easier and elevate the whole family’s behavior in the process.

A renowned lecturer and writer, Mrs. Levi has conducted parenting workshops for two decades, in Israel, England, Canada, and the United States. As many have before, the reader of this new edition will be happily surprised to see how quickly profound changes can be wrought in the home with small modifications of a parent’s outlook and approach.

With clarity and frankness, Mrs. Levi cuts through to the essentials, forgoing the confusing morass of conflicting dogmas about child-raising that can baffle even the most intelligent, well-intentioned parent. For those who want to expand and refine the skills they learned from her first volume, this new, expanded More Effective Jewish Parenting will serve as a wise, practical guide. For parents of a new generation not yet familiar with Miriam Levi’s common-sense approach, this new edition will be a welcome revelation.

Yes -- it is possible to change long-ingrained habits. It is possible to discipline your children with love. And it is possible to become the kind of parent you want to be, one whose behavior is consistent with Torah principles.

In response to popular demand, she has added new chapters on “The Difficult Child,” “Education for Torah Living,” and “The Teenage Years.” For anyone who realizes that parenting is a privilege, and our children a sacred trust, this volume will be a reaffirmation of faith and an indispensable companion.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Miriam Levi, a mother of three grown sons, is a consultant and instructor in special education. She conducts parenting workshops in Israel and abroad. Mrs. Levi received her B.A. in Early Childhood Education from Hunter College and did graduate work in special education at Teacher’s Institute of Columbia University. Her husband, Professor Yehudah (Leo) Levi, is the co-author of a commentary on five tractates of the Jerusalem Talmud and author of books on Jewish thought, as well as a standard text on electron optics. The Levis have lived in Jerusalem since 1970.

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Table of Contents

INTRODUCTION

• What Makes Us Angry?
• Intolerance
• Negative Judging
• Low Frustration Tolerance (LFT)
• Anger Doesn't Get Us Anywhere
• Getting Rid of Anger
• Focus on the Child's Welfare
• Frustration
• Judging Favorably
• Distinguishing Between the Child and His Behavior
• Stress
• Self-Induced Stress
• Accepting Our Lot
• Guilt
• Teshuvah: The Torah Method of Dealing With Imperfection
• Self-Denigration Prevents Change
• Rate Only Behavior
• Implementing Teshuvah
• Apologizing to Children
• Interactions of Guilt and Anger
• Guilt Over Guilt
• Guilt About Not Giving Enough Attention
• Guilt of the Working Mother
• Accepting Ourselves

• A. Nature of the Mitzvah
• Gratitude
• The Difficulties
• Defining the Mitzvah
• What is Reverence?
• What is Honor?
• Obedience
• B. Teaching the Mitzvah
• Teaching Reverence
• Teaching Honor
• Teaching Obedience
• Loving Concern
• Sincere Respect
• Patience
• Moderate Demands
• Following Through
• Beginning With Babies
• When Children Say "No"
• Accustoming Children to Obedience
• Withholding Privileges
• Giving Directions
• Teaching Children to Come When Called
• Getting a Child's Attention
• Reminders
• Correction and Punishment
• A Final Word

• Concern About the Child's Happiness
• Happiness
• Satisfaction of Desires
• Avoidance of Conflict
• Shopping Trips
• Tantrums
• Abusive Behavior
• What Will People Think?
• Guilt Feelings
• Am I Being Selfish?
• Am I Expecting Too Much?
• Fear of Disapproval and Rejection
• The Trap of Giving Reasons

• Teaching Through Praise and Encouragement
• How to Praise
• Being Specific
• Avoiding Excessive or Inappropriate Praise
• Objectivity
• Self-Esteem
• Encouraging Achievement
• Pride and Fear of Failure
• Rewards As a Method of Praise and Encouragement
• Drawbacks to Rewards
• Rewards for Torah Study

• The Right Hand and the Left
• Admonishment
• Principles of Admonishment
• Manner of Admonishment
• When Repeated Admonishment Has Not Helped
• Reactions to Admonishment
• Punishment
• Physical Punishment
• Other Kinds of Punishment
• Reactions to Punishment
• Natural and Logical Consequences

• Learning to Be More Empathic
• Creating an Atmosphere of Understanding
• Empathy as a Model For Our Children
• Helping Children to Understand Their Emotions
• Helping Children to Overcome Anger

• Torah Study
• Training in Mitzvah Observance
• Instilling Love For God's Commandments
• Resistance to Training
• Love and Reverence for God
• Moral Training

• Helpfulness
• Benefits of Helpfulness
• Encouraging Helpfulness in Young Children
• Manner of Requesting Help
• Showing Appreciation
• Assignment of Chores
• Reluctance to Help
• Negligence in Taking Care of Chores
• Flexibility
• Consideration
• Teaching Consideration
• Manners
• Thoughtfulness

• Early Training
• Coping With Disorderliness
• Carelessness
• Cleanliness and Appearance
• A Final Word

• Morning Routines
• Getting Children Out of Bed
• Making Beds
• Dressing Young Children
• Teaching Children to Dress Themselves
• Choosing Clothing
• Timers as Aids
• When the Child Is Late
• When the Child Relies on Special Transportation
• Bedtime Routines
• Getting Younger Children Ready for Bed
• Dawdling and Refusing to Stay in Bed
• Bedtime Routines for Older Children
• Resistance

• Jealousy of a New Baby
• Jealousy Between Older Children
• Problems at Mealtimes

• Staying Calm
• Staying Out of Fights
• When to Intervene
• Physical Aggression
• Fighting in Public and With Friends
• Fighting at Mealtimes
• Fights Over Toys
• Torah Laws About Fighting
• Sibling Rivalry
• Helping Children Develop Greater Tolerance
• Helping Children Overcome Their Anger
• Willingness to Forego
• Hypersensitivity to Insults
• Teasing
• Problem Solving as a Method
• The Child Who Keeps Hitting
• Peacemaking

• The First Few Months
• Spoiling
• Beyond Six Months: Nighttime Crying
• Method One: Let the Child "Cry it Out"
• Method Two: Gradually Accustoming the Child to Sleep Through
• As the Child Grows Older
• Dealing With Crying
• Common Types of Crying

• Do You Have a Difficult Child?
• Infancy
• The Early Years
• The School Years
• Other Possible Difficulties
• Low Sensory Threshold and LFT
• Learning Disabilities
• Dyslexia
• Attention Deficit Disorder
• The Difficulty of Diagnosis
• Effects of the Difficult Child on Parents
• Management Techniques
• Wildness
• Restlessness and Distractibility
• Dealing With Change
• The Future

• Parents Talk About Their Teenagers
• Typical Patterns
• Moodiness
• Low Self-Image
• Fear of Failure
• Looks
• Overblown Ego
• Common Behavior Problems
• Disrespect
• Contradicting and Criticizing Parents
• Disorder
• Late hours
• The Phone
• Loud Music

• EDUCATIONAL ENDEAVOR
• Assuming a Supportive Role
• Playing Sick
• When to Start Nursery School
• Misbehavior at School
• Handling Complaints About the Teacher
• Learning Difficulties
• The Underachiever
• The Learning Disabled Child
• The Striving and Tense Child
• Homework

• Eating
• Avoiding Feeding Problems
• The Fussy Eater
• Illness
• The Thin Child; the Overweight Child
• Lying
• Stealing
• Bad Language
• Wild Behavior
• Shyness